Leaving

Oh...sedey..sedey..jehan menangis lagi..minggu ni dh masuk 3 kali nangis! Dahsyat sungguh! Tapi kali ni nangis bukan pasal kerja....tapi pasal tgk ezora! Heh heh heh

Memangla cerita ni sangat mengarut kadang-kadang, but what to do, I follow every single episode. It's the escape I have during dinner. And now dah episode ke-60. Tak sangka it would be the last one. The ending was very unexpected, but I think I can accept it (cewah, as if I could change anything??) Panjang cerita, malas nak eloborate...but ezora end up with adreen, I consider it a happy ending. Tapi kesian pada reza....hm..paling bahagia is Bob and Kak ton...Hehe Okay, kate takmau citer! So I end it there! But one more thing, Sofia Ibrahim was one hell of an actress. She should be in the main cast, bukan pelakon pembantu okk! I didn't know who she is. So I asked ibu during one my calls home. She used to be the 'daring' artist, dgn pose maut. Heh dedicated betul jehan membuat kajian ttg siri fevret. Ok, !!!

On the way home petang tadi, I bumped into CL. Lama rasa tak jumpa. She was heading to the city centre for her Kendo Society meeting. Borak panjang juga. I have asked her to join me and intan (kalau jadi) for buka puasa nanti. Barulah seronok berbuka. Plus, she'll be going to Japan after next week for a conference and then will singgah di Penang. Good timing to gather I suppose.

Then, sampai je college bumped into Manzel la pulak. Manzel is my opposite 'neighbour' from Pakistan. She has finished her Masters degree in Education and will continue Phd in Oxford next year. She has pretty much settled her future plans. Good for her. Anyway, we had dinner together in her room for the last time, before she leaves tomorrow. We didn't really have the time to do many activities together as both were busy with our own lives, but we are good friends. We don't mind sharing our cooking utensils or giving some salts/sugar/flour. In most cases, I give her mine, memandangkan I ni kan jarang sekali memasak! Stock banyak lagi ;p Habis je makan-makan, terjumpa jeanine in our kitchen. Another resident of the R-block, a mathemathician. Minah ni kalau start cerita about her project, I don't understand a word! All she does for her Phd is solving mathematics equation which can't be solved for yearsss...macam filem Good Will Hunting tu! hebat..hebat..

Manzel - Jehan - Jeanine in our floor kitchen


Miss Manzel gave away lots of stuff. Now my rooms are stuffed with things I'm not sure I really need. But, can always pass them to my other friends. Sapa mau, sila collect at my place yer.

Cat magazine holder, canned plum tomatoes, cactus??, crackers, skimmed milk, table lamp (I already have this!), and a white board! Oh, more items coming believe it or not. In the morning she'll knock on my door to gimme the iron (i have this too) and ironing board! Wah, mane nak letak?? Also, ada plastic drawers, and different kinds of pencuci baju! Oh, two cushions plus she left me cooked meal in the fridge and raw food in the cupboard. Haih, murah rezeki nampaknye harini. But I seriusly have to give them away too later on. I have sooooo many junks in me room. One day I'll show you ;)

Ok, thanks Manzel, all the best, safe journey home, enjoy ramadhan and eidh in lahore and see you again in the future (i hope)!

Daaaaa

Sometimes you have to let go

Shit happens.....like so often!! (told you I'll be back with more moaning and weeping)

Sometimes there is just no point to continue in an argument. I was 'arguing' with the tuan penyelia (again!) and I realized at one point, there is no way I'm gonna change the perception of this person. I admit partly the faults were mine, but seriously its no big deal and amendable. But on her side, even the little things she could not let go! It has to be MY fault whatever what.

You know, the hardest thing for any person to do is to admit his/her mistakes. I believe the only key for improvement starts by admitting that you are wrong. From there you are clear which part of your personality should be corrected/impriove whatever. And...be open to other people's opinion and listen to others perception about yourself. Haih..this type of person rasa dia je yang betul..Susah la nak deal macamni.

God..I only want to finish this as soon as possible and escape from this place. Why should I stay in a place where I know I am not being appreciated?? Entahla labu...the thing is, my personality seems to contradict with my own boss most of the time. So it makes my life more miserable, apart from the work that's already highly energy/time-demanding itself. Kalau penat bekerja, tapi happy takpe, but now I don't think both are worth to sacrifice. Not anymore.

Best way is to walk away..........

*Usaha, tawakal, redha and serahkan segalanya pada Dia* ;)

I'm trying to let go of this depressing and tormenting thoughts....to regain my peace and serenity...

let go jehan...let go...

When Jehan goes haywire

I do not intend to start this writing with sighs and complaints and blaming and whatsoever. Yes, I found myself doing exactly that more often lately. That's when I decided not to blog at all at that time of distress. Well, every now and then I deserve to cry my heart out, but not always. yes, I ALWAYS grumble about work lately. hehe not a good habit i reckon. But hey, kalau susah hati, mmg sukar la..takde mood okk! But I'm holding on. I think I am one of the group of people who has an extensive level of patience and optimism (cewah). See, over confident gitu! Anyway, let 's just put a stop to the moaning now. (although I'm sure I'll be back with more pretty soon) Heck, at least for now I'm feeling good. ;)

Ok, just updating...

1-Work

Alhamdulillah, labwork will finally come to an end! Yay!!! Not totally though. The plan is to let go of all the full-time labwork (I'm talking about 9am to 10pm here) by end of this week or first week of september. Sama ada ada result atau tidak still have to let go or else I won't be able to meet the due date. The rest of the month will be devoted for writing. Maybe every now and then has to visit the lab for few hours, tgk plates and collect new results (if there's any). So I am very glad to go into the next level. Another target was to finish as much as possible before ramadhan.

Praise be to God, for giving me strength. Haih, mmg rasa nk giveup sometime. And yes, I finally managed to confront tuan penyelia. Let her be clear of my stand on this project. Berkelip-kelip jugaklah mata ni nak menahan air mata, tapi akhirnya berjaya jgk menghabiskan ayat-ayatku (I'm intrinsically a weeper, too bad) "Tahniah jehan, bravo..trabo..." kehkeh If I let her push me again and again, I'll go mad. Seriously this time, takde ruang toleransi ye.

2-Familia

Almost every morning I make calls to either ibu or along or angah. Abang kadang2 je sebab very expensive the calling charges to NZ. Since I got back from the lab very late, I just have to wait until its 7.30 or 8am in Malaysia, then I'm sure ibu mesti tgh siap2 nak keluar breakfast and maybe hantar along pergi kerja. Sempat la borak2 dlm half an hour or more everyday. There's always something to talk about. I realized I'm missing them more than ever lately. I'm not sad (alhamdulillah), and I'm not homesick (that's a lie!), I just want to know what's going on back home. And now, I am constantly updated to the little bits. I loike! Angah busy dgn tempat kerja baru and at the same time preparing for her own wedding at end of the year. Lawa la kunun..i trust your taste.

The little Einstein

At times, wil lask ibu or along to bring the phone to Mikayo so that I can listen to his voice. Comel! I am officially called Mak Ann ok! What happen to the suggested names for me earlier on like aunty J, mummy jehan, or anty ann?? Now it's either Mak Ann or Maklang ok! Terasa sedikit tua dari status sebenar (hehe) but honestly I don't really mind. And, am planning for ibu to come. Yayy..It's good timing since it's not the high season and matta fair will starts in september. Jimat duit makcik. ;) Kalau boley nak suruh datang minggu ni jgk, tapi sabar..sabar..let me finish with work then bley jalan2.

3-Friends

Many apologies to Kak Zetty for not updating on her wedding day. Alhamdulillah, on August 15th, she is officially Hefni's wife. The solemnization ceremony took place in KL and the reception at both sides went well, so I was told. Kak Ina also said she looked stunning and I totally agree with her. The dress simply gorgeous and for me its a total classic. So I like it. Again, congratulations babe! My prayers are with you and Hefni, semoga kekal ke akhir hayat. Mari kita tunggu Kak Ina's and Kak Lin's wedding plak. As for me and intan, kami beri kakak2 laluan ;)

The bride and groom

*wedding pictures will only be uploaded once I get the consent from either izyan darling or the bride herself.

Ejannz, a good friend of mine from Dublin came to cambridge last weekend with her sis and housemate. Being a good tour guide (yeker) I brought them to King's college and punting and lepaking on Parker's piece. Weather was extremely nice but towards the end of the day the whole cambridge stinked! Tatau ape pasal. So ejannz, hope that won't be your last memory of cambridge. Hahah

Staphanie, Ejannz and her 'anak ikan', James ;) btw, her definition of anak ikan is different.

Ina, Staph, Ejannz and Jehan

*we met in ASASI way back in 2002. She's a friend of Farah (my best friend there) and we had a good time together. Unfortunately, (or was it fortunately ejannz??) she was there for few months and left for Kolej Mara Banting, in...Banting!

Sorry to Kak Belle, Kak Suffee, Kak Zura and the rest of the cambridge family, cant make it to the makan-makan the other day. Experiments tersalah budget time. By the time I'm done, kedai dah tutup and tak dapat nak beli any snacks for my part. Takkan datang empty handed kan, malu la kunun...So to Abang Khairul, Kak Zura and Daud, selamat pulak ke tanah air setelah 3 tahun (or more) menetap di cambridge. Good luck!

Makcik-makcik di malaysia pulak...I called cik rauda sebelum die ke lab and chat with layana kejap smlm. Winnie, still can't get hold of you, tapi mau tunjuk sesuatu sama kamu..mission almost accomplish! ;)

4-Asraf

Wah, ada special category untuk pakcik ni? Mesti tersengih sorang-sorang kan? Hehe What should I say about you? Hurm, he played football the other day and got 3rd place. Siap pihak urusetia tak puas hati lagi. According to him his team was suppose to be the champ. Lawak je, macam hari sukan kat sekolah rendah siap ada pihak tak puas hati. Hehe All in all, he's busy la akhir-akhir ni...bagus2..takdela kacau orang. wah wah wah....thanks for the company *wink*

5-Entertainment

Not much. All I can obsess about at this very limited time is just watching ezora during dinner. Pastu terus tidur! Zzzzzzzz....................Oh yes, sometimes when I'm bored, browsing the best sites for euro trip (with ibu,soon) - no progress though, can't concentrate.

6-Health / Self

After the long awaited ******, finally today it appears....alhamdulillah. I know when I am extremely busy, I will have the tendency to become ill. As precautions, I cooked proper meal, eat well, start to take my multivitamin (again, after skipping this routine for so many times), consume lots of fruits (more than usual) and as preparation for ramadhan, I drink lots n lots of plain water. Yesterday tried to walk to the lab, rasanya kurang penat berbanding berbasikal, but takes 20-25 minutes. I'm thinking if I should walk instead during fasting. Normally everytime I reached the lab (cycling), I'll feel extremely thirsty. Kalau berjalan, relax je. I guess coz I was cycling too fast. Heheh

Alrite, enuff for now. Pray for me people. For health success and happiness ;)

~Everytime you are feeling low, count your blessings~

When Mikayo starts to pose

Aha....I was weely-weeeely excited after visiting Along's page in friendster today. She has updated her account with new snapshots of Mikayo. They were so adorable that I can't keep them to myself but to share here with you.

Check out the kepala baby.....delicous!

Ah-Long Bukit Beluntong...heh

Nyum..nyum..gigit jari

Whatcha looking at?? what..what??

Look at the elf ear

Anak cine teluk intan ;)

Can't wait for November to cuddle him in my arms. Tunggu anty balik okayyy.....

Off

080808

hey..Baru perasan tarikh hari ni memang ada 'ong' lah..Did not realize this until working in the lab and preparing some medium. Normally we have to write our name and date on the flasks, bottles whatever. Then only I realised this. As many believe, number EIGHT brings luck or prosperous. (correct me if I'm wrong Dr. Yap / Leandre). Hurm..the day is almost over, nothing auspicious for me so far. Harap-harap something good will come up. Ada orang mau belanja ka, daddy mau bagi extra allowance ka. Hehe Can I still wait until midnight? ;)

*crossing ma fingers*

I know only one girl who's getting married today. Aha! K. Zetty, I'm sure you know who kan?? Oklah, kepada sesiapa yang celebrate anniversary or wedding today, congrats to you. For others, just cherish today like every other day.

Gute Nacht!

Aku jaket dan hujan

Jam menunjukkan pukul 7.13 petang.

Seperti hari-hari sebelumnya, cuaca di Cambridge memang tidak dapat dijangka. Pada awal pagi, adalah terasa sedikit dingin membuatkan aku menyarungkan juga jaket ke badan yang kurus lagi kurang vitamin ini. Ada sedikit perasaan malas untuk berbuat demikian, kerana aku tahu lewat tengah hari nanti tentu matahari bersinar tiba-tiba sehingga mampu memerah keringat, bermandikan peluh. Nanti, pada waktu itu pula aku akan mengomel sendirian, dah kata dah, takyah bawak jaket! Namun, seakan arif dengan perubahan cuaca yang tidak menentu di sini, terbukti keputusan di waktu pagi tadi tepat sekali.

Lima minit yang lalu, kiranya aku gagahkan diri mengayuh basikal untuk pulang ke kolej, tentu aku tidak terkandas di dalam bangunan ini. Hujan turun dengan lebatnya secara tiba-tiba. Bukan setakat hujan, siap guruh sabung-menyabung seakan mengejek-ejek. Itulah, tadi aku fikir, sudah berjam-jam aku dalam makmal ni, kalau duduk setengah jam lagi takkan terluak pun masa. Sekarang ni, hamik....

Hehe, amacam? Ada gaya jadi penulis novel tak? The word hamik in the end is so not acceptable in the malay literature okay. ;) Yes, hujan lebat giler kat luar sekarang ni. I hate it. The only day that I finished early, I am still stuck in the lab until 8pm! Menci......Ada sedikit rasa sedih. Entah mengapa. Naseb baik pacik mathias stil ada dlm lab, takdelah takut sgt. Bak kata dia, "the rain wont hurt you". Pouring rain like this always makes me cheerless. Hey, on the bright side, I can continue working with my computer. New softwares that I have to figure out how to use.

Oklah, later...nak pi dinner kot then head home.

Da...

Spontaneously London

Owkayy..still in the sleepless mode. Dont want to tire my brain with journals, so I decided to blog instead. So THIS took place last-last sunday (27th July). The day before, K.Zetty flew off to Malaysia. Was a bit sad of course, but we are going to meet again in 5 weeks time. So okla jugak..Jadi, sudah berkurangan lah quorum 'd girls'. Only me and K. Ina left here in cambridge.

So weekend pertama tanpa complete team member, for Saturday - K. Ina had a thought of going to Bicester Village in Oxford (had a BIG SALE then), I prefer to go to Harrods in london (was told they have sale as well). Fikir punya fikir (sebab both of us kene consider labwork), so we decided not to. Bak kata Kak Ina....

Kak Ina : Banyak je sebab untuk tak spend duit kan. Kite buat makan2 jelah nak? kite ajak intan
Jehan : Ha'ah kan. Kat cambridge suda...
Kak Ina : Kalau weather bagus, kite picnic kat luar
Jehan : Best tuuu

Maka hari sabtu pun tibalah........

Pagi, kami masing-masing singgah ke lab. By lunch hour, I appeared in front of K. Ina's college and helped her with cooking. Menu best!!! There were nasi briyani, rendang daging and sambal ayam as the main, then ada telur rebus (upon request) and tahu jepun! meriah kan?? Thanks to perencah maggi, memang sedap dan mudah dimasak. ;) Dah selesai memasak, kami pun mahu mula menjamu selera....Intan sampai lambat sikit sebab nak shop kat city centre. So biarla dia, kami rasmikan dulu at almost 2pm. Nyum..nyum..mmg lazat....

Makan2 sampai la mengantuk. Around 3.30pm both dah start landing atas katil when Intan suddenly rang the door. Terpaksalah bangun buka pintu and jamu intan makan pula. Lame juga tak jumpa intan, so we updated each other as she enjoys the late lunch. Kak Ina dah hampir terlelap dah time ni. Setelah intan melicinkan pinggannya, boleyplak dia meluahkan keinginan untuk merasa makanan Malaysia di Malaysian Hall!! Hish!

Intan : Hmm..rasa macam nak makan kat malaysian hall plak
the thought of going to London excites both me and K. Ina.
Kak Ina : Heh, jom pi london nak?
Jehan : Jom!! Boley pi Harrods!!!!!
Intan : huh?
Jehan : Jom-jom..spontan je nak?
Kak Ina : meh akak tgk train
Jehan : Harrods tutup pukul brapa?
(jam menunjukkan jam 4.30pm)
Kak Ina : Pukul 10
Jehan : Okeh set. Kite sight seing in london malam2 nak? Weather is good. Relax2 je kt sana

Everyone agreed! Tanpa melengahkan masa, kami pun bersiap untuk ke london. Luckily I was wearing something decent, takdela comot sangat. We wanted to take the 5.15pm train, so no time to get dress. Tunggu taxi and we rushed off, sampai train station 5 minutes before the train departed. Fuh...mmemang on time! Well, kami mmg efisyen dalam hal-hal sebegini. Heh

Muka happy and bangga coz finally did something spontaneous

Me - Happy!

Cik Intan kite......

After Harrods, we went to Zara..didnt buy anything as we were already tired. Cis...cancel semua sight seing! Later perhaps. Untuk merealisasikan permintaan intan, we took the next tube to bayswater where malaysian hall is located. K. Ina's friend form london, Nana joined us there and we had another delicous menu for dinner. I love Malaysian Hall, feels like home...Best dengar semua orang cakap bahasa malaysia. Hihi

Bersama cik Nana.....

Us heading home.....

So, that was it. We slept at K. Ina's place that night coz arrived in cambridge at 12.30am. Penat, but was worth it. Nice one! ;)

I cannot sleep...AGAIN!

Oh, apekah yang sedang berlaku pada diriku. It's 1 o'clock in the morning. Feeling so tired since got back from the lab, but these eyes just couldn't shut and the brain is still actively working. Nonetheless, it's exhausted! How should I describe it?? It's like you are wide awake but too tired to do anything...Hurmmm

Anyway. tadi determine to come back from lab early. I target at 6.30pm. Then something came up so I extended the timeline to 7pm. But again, something came up and I decided to do it TODAY. So that was it - told myself, maximum 7.30pm! And so I managed to finish on time...Said goodbyes to Ms. Gabi and Mr. Mathias and then I'm off from the lab. Finally!

Keluar je main entrance department, I was dissapointed to see that it was raining. HEAVILY okk. Initial intention was to stop by Sainsburry's. The last few days I wanted to eat banana so much, but was too lazy to go out to get some. Nampaknye, harini pun tak dapat la makan pisang. Huh sadis sungguh

I could just walk back in and wait until the rain stops but I dont want to spend another minute in the department. Not the whole day! Oh, puhleeze! So with great determination, ku redah jua hujan lebat itu, sampaila ke college! Basah kuyup la jgk. Plus, dengan kaca mata ku ini, haruslah tak nampak jalan kan! Hish, very the un-glamour. What to do...On the brightside, I arrived room at exactly 8. Aha! Sukenye hati ;)

Then makan2, kavie called from london for a while and then I felt too tired already. Tried to sleep until now. Urghh...

Farewell dinner

Owkayy..this took place last friday..to be exact last-last friday! Hehe Lambat sunggoh jehan meng-update. Now baru ada mood...

So, as you all know, my fellow UNISEL colleagues/former lecturers were in england for a month. They had trainings in different departments in cambridge as well as in Oxford and Imperial College. Unfortunately, this was not a very good timing for me to have visistors as I was very occupied with labwork. All I managed to do was to visit them once in a while. Kalau mau ikut berjalan2 tu sedikit sukar untuk dilakukan. Walau bagaimanapun, tour into King's College and punting is a must activity if you visit cambridge, and we managed to do exactly that!

OK, dipendekkan cerita, on the last day they were in cambridge, Pn. Azah and Pn. Yanty invited me and Kak Ina to their place to have dinner. Mau menghabiskan stok makanan. They also gave us stok makanan yang tak dapat dihabiskan. Memang banyak lah, siap kene balik naik taxi lagi! Hehe Apepun, thanks ye. Harap anda semua have a good experience in cambridge. Any kesulitan harap dimaafkan. See you in a few months time! ;)