Little that I know about teaching...

It has been more than a month now...the daily routine of teaching seems to drain the energy and optimism out of me. I am lack of motivation now..Owh..little I know about the challenging world of teaching...

Sometime in december, I was asked, "ann, would you teach my kids?"
I gave a prompt (and sincere) answer, "I am more than happy to teach them".

I knew then what I was about to deal with; two kids (boy, 12 and girl, 15) both with really REALLY poor grades, obviously far left behind in school if compared to their counterparts, has no motivation, low confidence, lack of attention, has no focus (ini mendatangkan marah!), and the worst part is....they seem to have a memory that last for maybe...24 hours??!

Arrgghh!!!

Contohnye yer...

After a lenghty-detailed-explanation on let's say, division (mathematics).. bila ditanya faham tak, dijawabnye faham! Then bagi homework so they can practise at home - all answered correctly! OK, so I thought I did a good job and convinced that my teaching method was easy to follow.

Now......try to ask the same question again the next day?

SURPRISEE!!!!!

All memory gone! Bagaikan kami tidak pernah bersua!

Tensi atau tidak haku??

Thanks to them, I think I've lost a few kilos in a month and yerp, ageing faster than ever! Mentally and physically! Pakai L'Oreal anti-wrinkle pun tak jalannyer! (According to Along, by the age of 25 dah boley start pakai anti-wrinkle cream. hehe) Frowning every now and then, I expect a permanent wrinkles on the forehead!

Habit budak kecik ini yang suke berkerut.

So....if this was a bad idea, how come I agreed to take up the challenge and happily (well not really these 2 days) spend my every evenings with them?

My first reason? Because they are my own cousins. I feel that I (or other family members) have the responsibility to help these kids. Kalau depa ni budak2 normal takpe. Tapi ini special case. Bayangkan, the girl used to be dyslexia. She couldn't read until standard 5, so now she is slowwwwly coping with the subjects. And the boy is hyperactive where he can't or refuse to sit still and listen! Tell me how you can catch a cloud and pin it down? I'm thinking.....rotan? Heh heh heh...It's dissasterous since they started teaching mathematics and science in English! Hah, nak story pasal their english lesson kene entry lain..sakit hati..sakit hati!

The point is, somebody must do something about it! Takkan la I sampai ke cambridge and my cousins (who still has the hope to shine walaupun belum nampak sinarnya) jauh ketinggalan? Kesian kalau dibiarkan. Level depa sekarang? Amat menakutkan if I were their parents. Both will be sitting for UPSR and PMR. Hmmm..... *frowning again*

Some opposed to this very idea because I do not benefit (financially) from it. But I get full moral and technical support from my family members. Ibu has started to take over the english session. And Along too if she has the time. Well, Along would be the last teacher I'd hire! Garang gilerrrrssss. Sampai nangis students haku! Haha

Second reason - I am currently jobless. I know places where I could be employed and earn decent pay. But since I'll be travelling a lot these few months, I would not want to be bonded to anyone yet. So this is like a mini-project that keeps me occupied and makes me feel like a normal and useful person. Staying home for too long eats me up inside!

Third reason - I was convinced that these kids masih boleh diasah kebolehan mereka.

Fourth reason - maybe I am just crazy kerana merelakan diri memeningkan kepala!

So...more than a month has passed. Progress???

Honestly I do not know (sedih!!!!) I believe I have put a lot of effort. I am no longer as optimist as when I first started. After many 'failure' and extremely slow progress, I admit I started to think that the whole idea is just impossible to achieve. Perhaps they need professional help. I start to think more realistic here. How can subjects from the past 3 years being taught all in a few months? 3 years times 8 subjects! Tell me if you know how!

Until last week, I masih bersemangat. Memang nampak the kids lebih beri perhatian and makin cepat faham. So there are days that are fruitful eventhough most are not. But this week memang exhausting. Entahlah kenapa. Not trying to complain or anything like that. Just expressing my dissapointment - with them, with myself. Tak sangka it's more challenging that I imagined. Kadang-kadang budak2 ni miraculously smart (there are surprsising moments). Kadang-kadang....oh i just hate to use the word, but they are just plain lembab!!! No better word to describe their state of mind.

Lastnight and tonight, they are sleeping over at my place so we can have intensive lessons, and it's school holiday anyway. Maybe that's the reason for me being so demotivated. I realized that I started to use higher tones in my lessons and I am being crankier than ever. I have found the Sacha Fierce in me! Haha *sila google beyonce untuk keterangan lanjut*

Luckily weekend has arrived cause I am totally worn out by now and MUST gain respite!

Two days off, pergi rumah orang kahwen sane sini, makan-makan or jalan2, then sambung kerja on Monday. Hopefully by then, segala kemarahan sudah hilang....Harus buat spa and relaxing body treatment ni. heh

Miss J before teaching

Miss J teaching

Miss J hitting the high pitch!

Miss J pening after teaching ;D

*******************************************************************

Tabik spring and highest respect to all teachers in the world. Noble job you are doing. Tak tercapai kesabaranku untuk mengajar rupanya. Haha InsyaAllah things will get better. And I still love to teach anyway...Fingers crossed ;)

Thanks macik Ejannz for tagging me. Since I did this one before in facebook (last month), will just copy and paste in this blog, with few updates alrite. No rules....just 25 random stuffs......

How to do it:

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.


1 - I am currently jobless, bored and lost! - not anymore, I have found a new small project for now. It's a big responsibility...not bored and have small goals every week! ;D

2 - For the first time in my life, I weigh 60 kilograms! Wuhuu...optimal weight according to BMI test okk. - skrg entah, feels perfectly fine ;)


3 - Just started taking supplements. Thanks to 'Dr.' Asraf who has always been worried sick about my health condition. Feels much better now. But sir, I think that's the reason behind the weight gained. (eceh..salahkan pill pulak) ;D


4 - I had (notice the word HAD?) a resolution to order only plain water everytime I dine at restaurants/mamak. The trial period was for a month. Got through only the first week! Hehe - still unsuccessful!


5 - Milo Ais is my favourite! That explains the failure for resolution no.4 ;)


6 - Got a new resolution now - I'm reducing the consumption of eggs. Reason? Normal intake would be 5 eggs per week.And me? I normally take 14 eggs per week. Unbelievable kan!Cholesterol people..euww... - yup, berjaya me-reduce eggs intake to i dunno how much per week, but it's less than before . weheee


7 - My family said I'm a junk collector. I think I do..but they are actually cute stuffs that have no functions whatsoever.


8 - I believe I own more than 40 scarves/tudungs. Hehe But my cambridge labmates were annoyed by the fact since I only wear white most of the time. - am more colourful now..and verified - i own more than 60 scarves now! Haha..but letting go 10 of them...


9 - White or coloured, I'm totally conscious about the state of the tudung I'm wearing. It has to be pointed, and aligned! Not to the left, not to the right. - nothing's changed

10 - That makes me alert to mirrors too ;D

11 - I L.O.V.E bags more than anything! I think, I bought more than 15 last year alone. ;) - and scarves when come to think of it


12 - I have several travelling plans ligned up until June. March/April free. Anyone? - end of march taken!

13 - I am terrible when it comes to making decisions...indecisive!! -will start performing istikharah

14 - My nephew is so cute. He prefers his nanny(maid) more than me though! Bollocks! *excuse the language* ;D - AHAH! Not anymore bay-b!


15 - I think Amsterdam is a very cool place! But I love the mess in london! However, cambridge is very dear to me, more than anywhere else in the UK! Haha So bias! - insyaAllah will be back for a short visit. Yeeha!


16 - That reminds me of...the stupidest thing I've ever done - I accidently deleted the whole pictures of me and Asraf for the visit to london for the first time ever! Rasa bersalah still tak hilang until now! Sorry sorry sorry again! - unforgiven


17 - I miss arwah Azwan so much. And I still cant believe he's gone. ;( - now nenek is gone too. Al-fatihah. Semoga ditempatkan di kalangan golongan yang beriman...


18 - I have direction dyslexia! Haha - now takdapat determine. Perhaps improved


19 - I have a very long wishlist! Contact me if you feel the need to please me. ;) - still do...



20 - I miss my cambridge darlings..and cant wait for the next gathering with unisel babes


21 - Oh oh..i want a mini cooper too. That or a white range rover. Asraf?? - or X5..hehe


22 - I just discovered yellow suits my skin. Heh


23 - I used to take salsa lesson in college. Loved it


24 - I want to meet Oprah..I want to be Oprah! (as in rich and smart!) Not physically okk. muahaha - i want..i want!

25 - I have ten different occupations that I have always wanted to be.. - a journalist, a medical doctor, a teacher (primary/secondary school), a photographer, an artist, a guitarist, a clothes designer, a producer, a singer and lately i am thinking of being a cook! see..never a scientist ok..haha..talking about indicisive and fate!!!


Cheers


I am tagging.....

1-Ejannz

2-Aliaa

3-Faiza

4-Pa'a

5-Winnie

6-Pakcik Azizi

7-Kak Ja

8- Farah Asyikin

9-Josh

10-Najmin

and all in my list...hehe tak larat la nk tulis sesatu.....selamat menulis kawan-kawan....

Mikayo : I amm sooo sleepy.....gudnite everyone....

Take it one oil barrel at a time

OMG........!

It is now exactly 2 months since....you know what!

I kept reminding myself to update in here, but it just didnt happen!

I kept delaying one post after another until I finally realised I have tonnes of upates to do!


Well...not that anyone bother to reads it and not that they are any importance to the world. But I was so used to do it that I felt like heaps of task (kununnya important tasks) are being put off, heldup, suspended, etc...


Well, procrastination isn't always a bad thing...Not if you are doing it for something far more important than the one you are procrastinating...(what a perfect excuse) ;D


Honestly, there are loads of real-life stuffs to be sorted out. Like scholarships, potential phd projects, future planning, interviews, contacting people I should have called a month ago, and the list goes on...I AM kicking myself for not doing some of the above immediately. Trust me, I do get sleepless nights thinking some of those things. But for the last two months, everything seemed so vague. I did not know where to start. Now that I have seen some progress, hopefully things will fall into place very soon...And that can help me to decide. Oh God...puhleaaazzze!!!



Anyway...



Back to this blogging thingy. I think it's not something that you do on a daily basis and record it down in a blog to impress people or to proove to people what a beautiful life you have or impressive vocabs you know or anything like that.


For me...first, it's about recording your thoughts at that time - be it good, bad, silly, romantic or plain zany. So that 20 years from now you look back and say..."did I actually think that way" or "did I actually wrote that" or "No, I did not hate my supervisor!" or "How I wish I have the exactly same waist size!" ;D


Number 2 - It's also about discipline. Yup...who says discipline is only about what time you wake up in the a.m. or finishing your assigments early? Look at me..sudah 2 bulan tatak update..this is a MAJOR drop in the efficiency graph. (comparison yang kurang jelas) but anyhow, the point is, every work has to be consistent. And consistency spells D.I.S.C.I.P.L.I.N.E people! Yeah baby! ;)


Number 3 - Improved writing skills. Bukanke the more you write, the better your inscription is, no?


Maka dengan itu....saya dengan penuh semangat, ingin mengingatkan diri sendiri agar lebih disiplin dan tidak akan melengah-lengahkan sesuatu. Memang sukar kadang-kala, tetapi sekurang-kurangnya, HARUS ada progress! Walaupun sedikit, progress mesti ada! There is an old saying, "by the yard it's hard; but inch by inch, anything's a cinch!"


(this statement is applicable to all of my daily activities) ;P


And yup, after delaying things for so long, it's undoubtedly difficult to launch! (nanti jadi macam filem "failure to launch" pulak) Because there are so much in your mind now, you wont know where to start. And then you are upset and filled with guilt and falling into depression bit by bit (Hm...exactly where I stand now, but hanging on just fine)


So...

One of the best ways to overcome procrastination is for you to get your mind off the huge task in front of you and focus on a single action that you can take.


Another saying...."One of the best ways to eat a large frog is for you to take it one bite at a time" Euwww....!


Okay..enough metaphora...Let's get started! Fresh start....for the better future. See you soonnnnn ;D

Caption : Looking to the future......

Model : Maher Mikhail

Location : Darul Ehsan Medical Centre (DEMC), Shah Alam